You might be a runner if....

...you find yourself saying, "it's not really a hill..."
...You look into the toilet before a big race to inspect the size of the log you just dropped
...you can look at a grass field and guess its circumference almost exactly
...you have 5% body fat yet you don't live in Somalia
... you are a man, you eat all the junk food that there is and still weigh 119 pounds
... you dont care when you hug a sweaty girl
..."Quarters" are not a monetary unit
...You have recorded a marathon or track meet over your wedding video
...Your fridge contains two types of drinks: Beer and Gatorade
...you get hit by a car and you don't bother to get the license plate of the person who hit you because you still have 6 miles left to go
...You say things like "long and hard" to your female friends and it is not a sexual innuendo
...you make hundreds of left turns each week
...you and your teammates have meaningless debates about training, running, and coaching, especially when you're drinking
...you have running shoes in varying degrees of decomposition: used, well-worn, spent but still good, and useless-but-I-still-wear-them-because-they-still-feel-good
...you keep shoes and running clothes in your car so that if you're ever on a road trip and drive by a place thinking "it'd be sweet to run here..." you can get out and go for a run
...you sleep in your running shorts because they're more comfortable than whitie-tighties, not to mention you don't need to change for morning practice
...you can correctly pronounce names like "Hicham El Guerrouj" "Kenenisa Bekele" and "Haile Gebresilassie"
...speciality running shops are better than the mall
...you get upset and impatient when results from the race you ran aren't posted online by the time you get home
...off-season training starts a week after Finals
...you run when you feel like it, be it 6AM or midnight
...you do anything to try to heal an injury except go to a doctor or athletic trainer because you know they will just tell you to "Stop running."
...you wear a black, plastic sports watch with your dress clothes
...you can remember a time from a race 4 years ago, but you can't remember your friend's birthdays
...Your heart rate is below 50 and you are not dying
...You know how many grams of carbs there are in a banana.
...You can name a person from Namibia, Djibouti and Zimbabwe
...you are not embarassed to show someone where your hamstring "really" hurts.
...you know splits are something that not only cheerleaders care about
...you have hundreds of safety pins scattered around your house
...you enjoy running in the rain
...you double knot all your shoes out of habit
...you have a watch tan that never goes away
...you feel naked without your stop-watch on
...when you pack a seperate bag for your running clothes
...when pasta is the only food you'll eat two nights before a race
...when you try to convince people to run a 5k because it's "only" 3 miles
...when your friends think they need to practice more before they can run with you
...Every time you see a runner when you're driving you feel like you too should be running, even if you ran 15 miles earlier in the day
...You shower about 12 times a week
...You see your opponent shitting on the side of a road during a race and don't think twice about it
...You really have to take a shit during your 90 minute run, but without any leaves or toilet paper handy, you rip off the bottom half of your t-shirt and use it
...your toenails are black.
...you can count all your ribs.